if the subsidy isn’t restored

Posted: January 11, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Just the other day I saw on CNN, brutal killing of each other…. Damn! I didn’t mean to start with that. I like 2face a lot, you know?
Just the other day, while reading The Times, I saw a picture-A couple (heterosexual) locked in a passionate embrace on the bare tar of a road. They were oblivious to the backdrop of orange flares. Yes, these two lovebirds in the midst of the Syrian protests-cute
Well, everyone at this end has been so serious. I go through the updates on my BBM and its one chart or the other showing comparative fuel prices and the like. Well, me too I’ve written my fair share on the matter-serious articles, my brother. Today, I thought ‘What if the subsidy isn’t restored; what would I do? In what ways would I change my present behaviours and attitudes’? This thought made me chuckle out loud and I decided to share.
If the subsidy isn’t restored, I’ll change my haircut to skido. Yeah, that haircut sported by 2face Idibia.
Do you know how economically viable it is to sport that? It takes a month to grow your hair after a good skido, not to mention that hairstyle is so basic that any adult with a firm grip can give you a cut.
In my friend’s kitchen cupboard, there are shiny wrappers of instant popcorn. You place them in the pan and in a few minutes, you have fluffy snow-white popcorn pouring over the pan’s edges. Well, I will stock up on this and that will be the genesis of my exodus from cinema patronage. Homemade popcorn, drapes drawn and my room transforms into a movie house.
I will remain single. Yes, expectations were high that I would get a concubine this year, but with this-I would put a moratorium on such plans. Apologies to ‘The One’ when she reads this.
I will migrate to the BB Complete Package. My brother, do you know what that translates to? Savings of One Thousand, Five Hundred Naira (N1, 500) a month. Life is simple,isn’t it?
Finally, I will take my doctor’s advice and take long walks. The other day at Obalende, I took a ‘stroll’ through a backstreet and burst out at Tafawa Balewa Square. Well, Lagos is miraculously wired in such ways. For a decent walk, you’ll shave some quid off transport costs.
I know so many of you might have been considering this-maybe you feel if the subsidy isn’t restored, you’ll switch from Heineken to Star…yeah, Star is fifty naira cheaper.
Some would say then, ‘What T.M. Lewin can do, Tony Tigana can do better’. Well, share your ideas in the comment box people. I’ll really like to hear from you J
Disclaimer: This is in no way an endorsement of the subsidy removal or a foreshadowing of things to come.
Lol

Comments
  1. Son,how did u know d price of heineken nd star?i brought u up in d way of d lord.subsidy or no subsidy,u will marry in jesus name.

  2. The Phenomenon says:

    Hey Tafa, u ar already living an extravagant life joor… Obalende to TBS is approximately a 12mins walk if u pass thru Moloney or Macarthy street, so u can do better….u don’t av to use a blackberry, u can buy Nokia torchlight phones… Tony Tigana’s shirts are for the “working” masses of Lagos, dere ar other local tailors dat that can make shirts for 50% less… U can decide to watch movies during Lunch or Dinner(if u choose a 0-1-1 over a 1-0-1 or 1-1-0 bcos 1-1-1 is beyond reach)….. and lastly, why do u av to drink beer when dere is “ogogoro” and “opa eyin” for 20naira or less… Lol…. Nice One bro..

  3. chinasa says:

    Brov! I no wan reason the austerity measures wey go dey in place. But Jah dey.

  4. jemjem says:

    smh…it wnt b a funny sumtin shaa…
    u kno how u plan on goin skido..braids b my plan,they can last like 6 wks or more sef…
    def cheaper than two wks touch up on weaves..

  5. g unit says:

    ‎​S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ its true hard times brings out d best in a man. I bet u can’t put dis togeda widout subsidy removal. Nice one bro am proud to know n being a friend is an honour

  6. Aremo yemi says:

    No comment Tafa liked d introduction but wasn’t satisfied after all said and done

  7. Poetoria says:

    We’ll see brother, all that won’t have to happen, because the pond has been stirred (this time); sunken twigs and buried leafs are coming to the surface,and (this time), the pond will be cleansed.

    • osisiye says:

      Amin
      ‘This Time’, I won’t be surprised to see a poem along those lines sometime soon 🙂
      I used the lines from your ‘No Mercy’ poem for not a few days during the protests, punchy lines; those

  8. Hair Benders says:

    Lol, nice one, I don’t even want to think along that line anymore, I only have one plan….Leave naija, i can survive anywhere, but in Naija, ermmm…I can’t be rich with such drastic increase in everything.nice stuv bro

  9. Alpha says:

    Dnt count on Star stayin 50bucks cheaper -actually its a 100 in me hood- cos I reckon NB is goin to jack up prices pretty soon,even satchet water now goes for 10bucks a pop. Takin long walks wen ur diet consists of homemade pop corn is suicide man,no try am.

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