On a Sunday morning

Posted: July 27, 2012 in Memoirs
Tags: , , ,

At 5: 00 a.m., I hear Augustus’ excited voice asking someone ‘So when will you be coming?’

I quickly stand up and bolt my door before he gets to my room. Augustus is the head of Follow-Up at Believer’s Love World. Every Sunday, he goes to all the rooms on the A-wing of Mariere Hall and invites the occupants to church. If you mistakenly say, ‘I have not ironed’, he will leave. And return with a can of Easy On spray starch so he can help you iron. Yeah, he is that persistent.

At 9: 00 a.m., I drag myself out of bed and start the preparations for church. Bath, Cream, Mouthwash, Iron, Spray Starch, Iron again, Borrow Cufflinks, Knot tie, remove tie and wear bowtie. At the end I stand in a pink shirt, black trouser, black monkey coat, black bowtie and silver cufflinks. Just then I hear a shout ‘Tafa! Tafa!!’

I get out and lean over the railings. There is Okechukwu, my model friend in a red Toyota Solara.

‘How far? You get laptop?’ he bellows

‘Nah, but I get Blackberry’ I reply

They laugh at the joke. I am not joking though

‘Oya, come make we go find for New Hall’ Ahmed shouts from the other window.

I imagine the wahala of going round to use the staircase. What the hell? The car is just below me directly.  I jump down from the first floor and enter the car

‘Nice outfit’, Okechukwu says as we zoom off

‘Tafa, wetin dey carry you go church?’ Ahmed teases

But I am not listening to all these. There is something more pressing on the car’s backseat. At the back of the car are a dozen cans of Gulder.

Okechukwu follows the direction of my eyes and laughs.

‘They don’t need it with the content. You can drink everything, sha give me the empty can’

Okechuwku wants to enter for the Ultimate Search competition. The requirements include six cans of beer and a form that needs to be downloaded off the net.

Soon the car is filled with the pop sound of canned beer been opened and the accompanying gurgle sound of liquid been swallowed at high velocity. I was in the Beer Part of my life.

In the backseat of the Solara

We get to New Hall and the cybercafés are not open. ‘Modupe just buy laptop o, She go dey FSS now’. That’s Ahmed again. He has a way of focusing on whatever comes out of the car’s stereo and talking only when absolutely necessary.

So we turn and head for The Faculty of Social Science building. And so it happens, we see Modupe on the other side of the road walking back to New Hall.

‘Modupe, Modupe’ I scream, but she does not answer. Girls can be proud sha. Then I notice the glasses are wound up, that is why she did not hear. No, I am not drunk.

Now we have turned and are on the other side of the road’s divide. The Toyota Camry in front of us seems to have stopped. No, it is moving. But it has stopped again. But it is now moving slowly. No, I am not drunk.

The guy in the Camry is trying to get Modupe’s attention. ‘Hey, hey’ he shouts but she does not favour him with as much as a glance. ‘Hey Pretty’, he croaks but she only walks faster. ‘Hi gorgeous’ he says softly and she finally turns, but it is to kill mosquito. All the while, we are driving calmly behind him waiting out turn.

Finally, he drives off and we resume his position, now moving, stopping and moving slowly.

‘Modupe, Modupe’ Okechukwu calls but she gives us same treatment

‘Modupe, it is me’ Ahmed says hoping she will look at us. Fail!

That’s Modupe. You see why there is Go-Slow everytime she is on the road.

I try to help him out ‘Modupe, we are not gorgeous. I mean, we do not call strangers gorgeous’ but she keeps walking. I think she smiles at this.

Finally, we get Modupe’s attention and she comes in for the ride back to New Hall. She could not help us with her laptop though. I can’t remember why. Now, I am drunk. I do not mean now. I mean on that fateful day.

Now, I am done with school. I am in the working part of my life. Okechukwu is done with looking for laptops on Sunday mornings.  He actually won the Ultimate Search competition and entered the history books as Ultimate Man Eight. Then he went on to act in Tinsel, model for MTN and sha make history.

Now, Gulder is organizing a competition to vote for the Best Ultimate man of all times. For been relevant after winning the crown, for his journey there, for been such a great guy and for the confidence to disturb people on Sunday mornings, I think Okechukwu Christopher Okagbue deserves the crown.

Please vote for him as many times as possible on http://bytesizeng.com/guspoll/.... www.facebook.com/GulderNigeria and www.gulderultimatesearch.tv

Qriss 🙂

  1. Taiwo says:

    Interesting,fresh and funny story…got my attention,and I think I can remember watching that particular season of gulder ultimate search that Okechukwu won…I’ll vote.thumbs up

  2. Bawllerday says:

    I can never tire of reading your write-ups. Well done and yes I can say you are drunk now just as you were on that fateful day.Haha
    Qriss has just began! We rep UNILAG.

  3. Jemjem says:

    U khaked up to drink Gulder in d back seat of a solara???

  4. Adeniyi says:

    Keep it up bro…The sky is your limit

  5. katie says:

    Now, ds is rili fab.. #teamQris..

  6. projectcrush says:

    Lmao! Dıs ıs so funny! I have vote shaa

  7. The realist feel of your stories – always charming.
    Okechukwu earns one vote from me (Y)

  8. monisola says:

    Ermmm….not sure I know who okechukwu is,but I’m guessing he’s the cute guy that’s Angela dede’s bf(checks google) oh yes I’m right…..osisiye,arrange the meeting now ;)….ℓ☺ℓ…I’ll keep voting.

  9. Chris Okechukwu Okagbue says:

    Lmao. Tafa. I CAN NOT beliv dat û actualy rmberd evry detail 4rm dat crazy sunday mornin. Thnk û sooooooooooo much. I had a gud laff readin dis. God bless û my broda….. We shud make tym n hang out sometym jus like old tyms….wit Fatai, Ali n Co. Lol 😉 ….btw, plz guys, do vote 4 me ooo X_X Bless!!!

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