Others: Jay!

Posted: December 4, 2013 in Guest Posts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

This is about others. Others like the contractors in my new office’s toilet who did not put ‘male’ and ‘female’ markers on the toilets.

Others like the cleaner guy at the office who I added on my BBM and his user name is ‘Afo Baba Cash Money’ with dollars signs in between.

Others like the attendant at the karaoke place I go to, who puts on Deuces whenever I come in and hands me the microphone.

Others like the other day, when I paid my house rent and I had only #1000 left in my account and a colleague I had been owing #300 since came to collect it. With that three hundred naira went my pride. And in the evening, I felt like to let-loose, let-loose and just useless myself, so I went off to drink with friends. We did 8 bottles of Hennessy and 4 bowls of pepper soup including soda to mix. I was just looking that what if they ask me to chip in. At a point, I couldn’t eat fish again. Imagining the bill made me sick. Then my friends started leaving. 3 left at once. I said ‘This is it’. 2 shook me like a Chairman and clucked my hand. Another one when leaving shook me and said, ‘I respect you but I don’t fear you’. Whatever that meant, nigger didn’t sha chip. Before you know, only 3 of us remained on the table.

This post is about others, like Jay:

'A woman with a pout will go far'-Abraham Lincoln

‘A woman with a pout will go far’-Abraham Lincoln

WARNING-The following writing is not in the hilarious manner of the host. Just a recount of one persons weekend.

Eyitayo recently reminded me of what Murphy’s law states.

While sharing my experiences of the past weekend, he mentioned that I should do an #alternatechipsonmarble..LOL! I didn’t accede to writing this until I heard Murphy’s law again.

Anyways, the godsister was getting married and as maid-of-honour, I had to be there, early too.

Jay

My flight out of town was scheduled for 9:20 a.m. on Friday and when at 8:30 a.m. I was still stuck in traffic and not so close to the airport,  my worst fear was missing my flight.  It had been raining so I was banking on bad weather to cause some sort of delay. Delay I prayed for, Delay I got.

Itinerary got cancelled by airline and after their flimsy apology, they gave me a refund and had me go buy another ticket out. Next available flight was for 2:30pm, so I swallowed courage a.k.a Fanta and sat down to wait for the hours to go by. 2pm turned to 5pm and I was still sitting, waiting,  befuddled and mostly freezing.  Some nice gentlemen  who had come to share my bench had been entertaining in his way but Nne Girl was already tired. If I had gone by road, I would have long since had breakfast or lunch. We eventually boarded and left at 5:35pm. The rest of the journey was alright, just another day wasted.

Wedding Day. My blend of paranoia and pessimism had been peering out and getting subdued, so when trying to keep up with the bride’s convoy and not miss road, my co-bridesmaids and I got hit by the side. I just sat there and whispered “Thank you Jesus”. I mean, I was reaching for my phone in the backseat (without my seatbelt on) to take selfies for Instagram and WhatsApp when we were swerving off the road.  Thankfully nobody was hurt and we tried to calm ourselves  and continue to church.  Apparently we were more in shock than we admitted, cos somehow, from Central Area we found ourselves in LUGBE!! I remember we didn’t know our way, we missed a turn (or two). We made it to church eventually and witnessed the marriage.

That Murphy Guy tried to prove another one at reception but Tayo and I agree that it is TMI (-__- yes, we do! )

It’s alright Murphy, we get it; EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL GO WRONG…now can you stop messing with my plans???

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Parting Shots

(i)                  Ever done something cute for someone that can’t repay, like this I did for Simba?

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Today’s post was supplied by Jay

Comments
  1. Minnie says:

    Dude u cray… loool!!! I like what u did for Simba. Oh how cute. And this post, I like as well. (hope I hve successfully mimicked u)

  2. Harry Itie says:

    Ijeru!!!!

    Love this one. Mainly because I was kinda a part of the experience.

    Nice one though 😉

  3. zealthinks says:

    LOL…now i am not sure why I am just seeing this post….i missed the tweet…talk about show me your friend and I will tell you who you are…no, wait a minute a better quote is “birds of a feather flock together” or is it “birds of the same feather flock together”? ….ok whatever it is…who even said that? Ok my point is Jay is as hilarious as Osisiye…lol…..yes, if you ha not mentioned it was a guest post, I could have bet my next meal it was an Osisiye post….good humour…thanks Jay…
    🙂 and yes I have done something nicer for Simba…made a whole post for him and several tweets too 😀

  4. Nyech says:

    Nice one. Enjoyed the others relay. Jay, I did notice yours too…and I must mention that I felt a bit sorry for Mr “Nice gentleman that came to share my bench”(He met her at the wrong time).

  5. enajyte says:

    Simba is a dog.

    #Okay

    This post is so old any comment I leave is just one kind.

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